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 Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!

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kahnedom



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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Fri 05 Jun 2009, 4:41 pm

3 most dangerous people in the world: bitch with a gun, Mexican with a knife and a Dicksucker with a chipped tooth rabbit
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kahnedom



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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Fri 05 Jun 2009, 4:42 pm

The Hillbilly code of honor!: Get honor, stay honor, and if you can't come inner then come honor!
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:30 am

Tight Skirt
One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived, and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach the step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzips her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn’t reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg only to realize that she still couldn’t reach the step. So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turns around furiously and says,?
How dare you touch my body that way, I don’t even know you!? Shocked, the man says? Well, ma’am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends?

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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Thu 11 Jun 2009, 10:14 am

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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For the guy that didnt finish in first place!!!LMHHAO "Say's Idiot!"
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sat 13 Jun 2009, 3:16 am

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sat 13 Jun 2009, 3:18 am

Crazy Female and Male Parrots

A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired.

“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’”

“That's terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship.”

“Thank you!” the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say “Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!”
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sat 13 Jun 2009, 3:18 am

Top Ten Signs Your Spouse May Be Having an On-Line Affair

10. Lately she sits at the computer naked.

9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.

8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.

7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.

6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.

5. She makes sarcastic remarks about your "software".

4. Lipstick on the mouse.

3. During sex, she screams "A colon backslash enter insert!"

2. The fax file is filled with pictures of someone's butt.

1. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sat 13 Jun 2009, 3:19 am

Ma and Pa where rocking on the front porch when Pa turned and slapped Ma, Ma said what was that for? Pa said for forty years of bad sex. Ma said oh and continued rocking. Ma reached over and slapped Pa. Pa said what was that for? Ma said for knowing the difference
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sat 13 Jun 2009, 3:26 am

WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY


10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.


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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sat 13 Jun 2009, 3:28 am

WHAT WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY


10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......

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hotnsweet

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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sun 14 Jun 2009, 1:49 am

LMTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! id write my name in the snow...or on the pavement or a wall...gimme a beer or 10....ill write a story LMTO
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kahnedom



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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sun 14 Jun 2009, 12:01 pm

Open me slowly, lick me with your tongue, grab my sides and eat my cream......DAMN OREOS ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!
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kahnedom



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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sun 14 Jun 2009, 12:04 pm

No woman will ever be truly satisfied on valentines day, because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money ;P
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Tue 16 Jun 2009, 7:23 am

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Cookin is a trophy wife.

For the guy that didnt finish in first place!!!LMHHAO "Say's Idiot!"
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hotnsweet

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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 17 Jun 2009, 11:38 pm

you mean penis isnt chocolate???? and what no money??? damn damn damn.....
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:48 am

HUH????? who says, what credindentials do they have? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Cookin is a trophy wife.

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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 24 Jun 2009, 6:11 am

Why do girls rub their eyes in the morning?
They have no balls to scratch.
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sun 12 Jul 2009, 5:28 am

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"


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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sun 12 Jul 2009, 5:47 am

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?"
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sun 12 Jul 2009, 6:13 am

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?"

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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:35 pm

toooo funnEEE
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natureboi

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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Sun 19 Jul 2009, 1:09 pm

hi nina i'm back and i missed your humor!
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 22 Jul 2009, 8:08 am

Funny shit Nina!!!!!! Smile

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Cookin is a trophy wife.

For the guy that didnt finish in first place!!!LMHHAO "Say's Idiot!"
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Mon 24 Aug 2009, 2:50 pm

The Black Bra

Hotnsweet, justpeachy and cookin met for lunch one day.

They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. They agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

Hotnsweet started and said,

The other night when husband came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.


Justpeachy followed up with her story,

"Me too! The other night I met my husband at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble. We ended up having sex right then on his desk, rushed home and we had wild sex all night."


Lastly was cookin:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,

"What's for dinner, Batman?"

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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Mon 28 Sep 2009, 11:45 am


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