Cookin N Fiends
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Cookin N Fiends

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 Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!

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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 7:03 am

Grilling Remarks

A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed.

So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill!" She ignores the remark.

Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm going to fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 7:08 am

After the Office Party

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday.

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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 7:40 am

OHHHHHHHHH I know all about a "grill" ass!!! LOL very funny Nina!!!!!

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For the guy that didnt finish in first place!!!LMHHAO "Say's Idiot!"
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 8:18 am

Thanks Cookin I gotta find some funnier 1s + i wanna post funny pics as soon as i ask AI how 2 do it
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 8:18 am

A guy walks in a bar and sits next to a blonde. The 10:00 news is about to start and the leading story is about a man on the ledge of a building threatening to jump.

To strike up the conversation, the guy says to the blonde, "I bet you 20.00 he is gonna jump".

the blonds says, "OK, I'll take that bet"

As soon as she places her money on the bar the guy jumps.

She says, "Fair is fair, he jumped, you win."

The guy responds, "I gotta be truthful, I cant take your money, I saw that on the 5:00 news, so it's not fair to take your money."

The Blonde responds, "I saw that on the 5:00 news too, I just couldn't believe he would jump again."

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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 8:24 am

HAHAAaaa very funny... gotta love d blande jokes ...
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 8:51 am

That is funEEE

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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 10:01 am

Three friends decided to bet each other $100 on who could make their wives scream more from sex.

They all go home to have sex with their wives and make them scream.

The next day the meet. The first friend says, "I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she was screaming for at least 1 1/2 hours."

The second friend says, "That's nothing, I start licking my wife for two hours and she was screaming the whole time and half hour after that."

The third friend says, " That's nothing, I made love to my wife for ten minutes, I came a couple times I wiped my Dick in the curtain and she still screaming."

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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Wed 13 May 2009, 3:05 pm

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I be screamin' too STILL!!!!

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Cookin is a trophy wife.

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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Thu 14 May 2009, 7:51 am

Request By Penis
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends and holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work at high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.

Dear Penis, After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following
reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period.
3. You do no stay in you designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
4. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You are unable to work double shifts.
8. You don't always observe the necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
9. You will retire long before age 65.
10. And if that were not enough, you have constantly been seen entering the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management
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Sexy~Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Thu 14 May 2009, 8:17 am

Gynecolgist Assistant
A young man goes into the Job Center in Wichita, Kansas , and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more - "Can you give me some more details?" he asks the clerk.

The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of $45,000, but you're going to have to go to Houston, Texas. That's about 616 miles from here."

"Oh, is that where the job is?",

"No sir - that's where the end of the line is right now."

P.S. Let's hope Nature doesn't see this...LMAO
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justanidiot
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PostSubject: Re: Enter Here to Laugh Your Ass Off!!   Thu 14 May 2009, 10:14 am