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 Sex Advise LOL

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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Sex Advise LOL   Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:30 pm

Ok guys and gals...............Im here to answer any sexual questions in nature, and advise or problems you may have...Im here to help Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Wed 22 Apr 2009, 4:21 pm

Gee.....My first ban from PH chat room......Was it the colgone......deodorant.....bad breath....What?
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Wed 22 Apr 2009, 4:24 pm

Sexadon wrote:
Gee.....My first ban from PH chat room......Was it the colgone......deodorant.....bad breath....What?



LMAO...........well babe I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it was probably that bad weave you ordered at weaves R us.cancel the order, save your $.....the ladies like SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH!!!!!!
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Sexadon

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Wed 22 Apr 2009, 4:41 pm

Damn man...I was a fucking bald at the time ( Playing Dr. Phil) .......WTF? Goddamn Swat MutherFucker can't take a joke about someone calling him Squat...good grief!!!!!!!!
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Wed 22 Apr 2009, 4:46 pm

Sexadon wrote:
Damn man...I was a fucking bald at the time ( Playing Dr. Phil) .......WTF? Goddamn Swat MutherFucker can't take a joke about someone calling him Squat...good grief!!!!!!!!


HAHAHHAHA now now............whats all this have to do with sex???? LMAO
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justanidiot
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Wed 22 Apr 2009, 5:08 pm

Sex questions.

How do I get her to stop screaming all the time?

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hotnsweet

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Wed 22 Apr 2009, 5:39 pm

Cookie i have a question......ummm i have this friend who ummmm gets her chair all wet during.....certain moments and i....oops i mean she wants to know what is the best covering for my ...er her chair??? plastic is too slippery...she slides out of it....please cookie help a gal out
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 3:01 am

Hi doc,, when i get excited white goo comes out the end of my bed flute. Does this mess up girls panty area? Is this the best place to leave my goo or is there other places i can place such a deposit?Ps its happened more than once. yours ,confused mutant.
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mutant

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 3:04 am

hotnsweet wrote:
Cookie i have a question......ummm i have this friend who ummmm gets her chair all wet during.....certain moments and i....oops i mean she wants to know what is the best covering for my ...er her chair??? plastic is too slippery...she slides out of it....please cookie help a gal out
Is the chair in the rain? thats the only idea i have. Im baffled..
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 8:04 am

Admindiot wrote:
Sex questions.

How do I get her to stop screaming all the time?

Go to the garage, in the utility cabinet, open the door, third shelf all the way in the back you will find a roll of Kentucky chrome duct tape......that will work really well........Let me know how that goes. OHHHHH only put over the mouth, not the nose, this will allow her to still breathe Very Happy

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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 8:15 am

hotnsweet wrote:
Cookie i have a question......ummm i have this friend who ummmm gets her chair all wet during.....certain moments and i....oops i mean she wants to know what is the best covering for my ...er her chair??? plastic is too slippery...she slides out of it....please cookie help a gal out

Well Hot, what I do,, I MEAN my friends do, is takes a very large beach towel and drapes it on the seat of the chair..a towel is good because once drenched with wetness, can easily be replaced with another one...just remember to wash, I mean tell your friend to wash right away to eliminate any odor..........Let me know if this helps Hot.erm I mean your friend! Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 8:19 am

mutant wrote:
Hi doc,, when i get excited white goo comes out the end of my bed flute. Does this mess up girls panty area? Is this the best place to leave my goo or is there other places i can place such a deposit?Ps its happened more than once. yours ,confused mutant.

LOL.......

Well Mutant dear the goo is an all natural ingredient and perfectly safe to deposit anywhere, except perhaps your bank...that could lead to criminal charges, so NO NO NO.anyhoo your wife would be the best place to deposit this mysterious white goo........ask her where she would like it then you can make your deposit, in the most cleanist fashion, again with Hots problem, I mean her friend if anything of clothing were to get damaged, wash right away.Hope this helps....keep me informed Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:16 am

oh cookie your the best...the beach towel works great...um so my friend said....we had to try it out. Giggles....i made her wet...the chair was saved!!! my friend says im the best.....i mean your the best. im cummin to you with all my problems.....thank you cheers
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:25 am

hotnsweet wrote:
oh cookie your the best...the beach towel works great...um so my friend said....we had to try it out. Giggles....i made her wet...the chair was saved!!! my friend says im the best.....i mean your the best. im cummin to you with all my problems.....thank you cheers


LMAO........Im so pleased I could help...... Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:17 am

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is awesome!!!
cookin I got a quick question....gimmee some advise on what to do when my peers catch me jackin on the boat? could you give me a physicians waver saying due to prostrate issues, i need to keep it flushed out? cause my Mormon netmender is keep vomiting on my patch web
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 12:10 pm

natureboi wrote:
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is awesome!!!
cookin I got a quick question....gimmee some advise on what to do when my peers catch me jackin on the boat? could you give me a physicians waver saying due to prostrate issues, i need to keep it flushed out? cause my Mormon netmender is keep vomiting on my patch web



HAHHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA

I could get you that waiver babes..........BUT we must hope that Cookin's Sex Therephy, INC. is NOT checked out throughly...but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

As far as spankin' it (thats what I call it) if the "guys" do catch you...fuckin throw em' over-board DUH.... pirat

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justanidiot
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 12:22 pm

Spankin it, do those fish have teeth nature?

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"Auror"

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 1:09 pm

is there any known fix for a crooked unit ?
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"Auror"

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 1:11 pm

Are you a liscensed sex therapist ... i may have to check out your credentials ... .... in person ....
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 1:12 pm

"Auror" wrote:
is there any known fix for a crooked unit ?

Well there always tryin to splint it!!! LOL..although didn't work on Mr. Cookin LOL

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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 1:14 pm

"Auror" wrote:
Are you a liscensed sex therapist ... i may have to check out your credentials ... .... in person ....

Sure.....found a site on the internet were I could print my own certificates....I can be a certified welder, carpenter(which need now) and a cardiac surgeon Wink Want that thar' link? Razz

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"Auror"

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 1:19 pm

i am certifed too.....
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CookinNlookin
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Thu 23 Apr 2009, 1:45 pm

"Auror" wrote:
i am certifed too.....

your a certified GAS guy!!!

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mutant

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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Fri 24 Apr 2009, 4:28 am

CookinNlookin wrote:
mutant wrote:
Hi doc,, when i get excited white goo comes out the end of my bed flute. Does this mess up girls panty area? Is this the best place to leave my goo or is there other places i can place such a deposit?Ps its happened more than once. yours ,confused mutant.

LOL.......

Well Mutant dear the goo is an all natural ingredient and perfectly safe to deposit anywhere, except perhaps your bank...that could lead to criminal charges, so NO NO NO.anyhoo your wife would be the best place to deposit this mysterious white goo........ask her where she would like it then you can make your deposit, in the most cleanist fashion, again with Hots problem, I mean her friend if anything of clothing were to get damaged, wash right away.Hope this helps....keep me informed Wink
Wow! Thanks doc. The good wife told me not to ask such stupid questions. So ive asked a few ladies down the street for their thoughts on the matter. One lady smiled and slapped mme at the same time,, i got really excited and it happened again.. And i had my white tight fitting sunday club shorts on. Well lets just say you could tell id had an accident.
I think ive got goo control problems,,, please help me. mutant. ps, the kind stranger had some pretty weird ideas re new sites for goo deposits. Im sure she said in my bum, but it could have been her mum. any way im at a loss.
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PostSubject: Re: Sex Advise LOL   Fri 24 Apr 2009, 10:00 am

oh cookie you are the only one who can help.....you see i like this guy......hes very sexy.....but i cant seem to get his attention....please send me some tips to have him look my way...thanks cookie Very Happy
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